Do you talk with kids about food? Replace fear with food positivity. Book review of Food Positivity by Diana Rice and Dani Lebovitz.

Have you heard of food positivity?

It is the antidote to diet culture, food guilt, body shame, and fear about food and eating.

In the words of authors Diana Rice and Dani Lebovitz:

Food Positivity is more than how we feed kids – it’s how we raise them. It’s the decision to make mealtimes a place of trust instead of conflict, joy instead of guilt, and connection instead of control. Instead of focusing on rules, pressure, or perfection, Food Positivity supports the whole child – body, mind, and spirit. It gives parents practical tools to make mealtimes calmer today while raising kids who explore food with curiosity, trust their bodies, and eat well for life.

The authors describe their mission as follows:

To help families break cycles of shame and guilt so the next generation can inherit something better – a relationship with food and their bodies rooted in safety, trust, joy, and whole-child well-being.

Let’s explore what we can learn from reading Food Positivity and putting it into practice.

Health ≠ Weight

If we’re honest, we must acknowledge that we are biased towards thinness. Diet culture has sunk into our belief system for generations. It’s time to break this cycle, at least within our families.

How? Instead of dieting and food restriction, weight talk, and weight teasing, which can trigger disordered eating, body shame, and negative self-concept, practice food positivity:

Respecting and trusting our bodies and making no one else feel ashamed of their size. Experiencing food as nourishment and joy, not punishment or control.

Build a Food Positivity Framework

This framework recognizes that kids do the growing and parents do the guiding. To grow, children need to feel safe, supported, and able to trust themselves. Children also need to build the skills to make choices, notice and respond to body cues, explore with curiosity, and feel like they belong.

Feeding –

Make mealtime a space for connection and fun, where food can be enjoyed safely, explored with curiosity rather than pressure, and eating until the child notices and honors fullness.

Environment –

This consists of the modeling, messaging, and moments that constantly teach without us realizing it. What are we modeling to children by what we do? What are the messages about food, health, and bodies children see and hear? What are the moments children experience and how do they shape what they think about food and their bodies?

When you are intentional about creating an environment that supports the whole child, you strengthen their protective shield against diet culture.

Learning –

Child development determines what and how children learn at every age and stage. Expose children to concepts they are ready for.  Provide rich experiences to explore food, prepare food, and enjoy food. Celebrate culture and body diversity.

Parenting –

Be a “food leader” who creates mealtime structure, demonstrates trust, and creates room for curiosity and connection. “Supportive leadership guides kids and as they grow and helps them become confident, capable adults.”

Practice responsive feeding – creating a safe and predictable mealtime environment with a calm and steady presence that builds connection, offering appropriate, appealing foods, honoring the child’s hunger and satiety, and being attuned to the child’s feeding cues in an emotionally and developmentally supportive way.

The authors summarize their approach with a simple acronym: SAFE. It lists four guiding points that matter most. Here they are, in the authors’ words:

S = Safety –

Kids can only learn when they feel physically, emotionally, and socially safe.

A = Autonomy –

Children need voice and choice to build trust in their bodies and cues.

F = Flexibility –

Growth isn’t linear; regressions are normal. Meet kids where they are.

E = Experience –

Real learning comes through doing: tasting, touching, stirring, squishing, smelling, and living.

Be equipped to deal with difficult situations

Food Positivity includes chapters on dealing with difficult feeding situations like food neophobia, distracted eaters, when kids don’t notice fullness or hunger, eating out of boredom, trauma, stress, food insecurity, sensory issues, and more.

The book has useful scripts and strategies for talking to kids about food and their bodies as well as how to handle food and body talk from others. It describes how to do food exploration together. And it suggests ways to transform the food and body environment outside the home.

Develop Food Positivity Life Skills

The long-term goal is children who mature into adults with “everyday habits, attitudes, and confidence that become second nature.” What does this look like?

Food Positivity describes it as follows:

• Enjoying food without guilt, shame, or pressure

• Respecting that everyBODY and every food belongs

• Taking pride in your own cultural foods while honoring others’

• Questioning outside messages and checking them against your values

For more information and resources, visit: https://foodpositivityproject.com/

“Your kids don’t need perfect meals, perfect words, or perfect parents. What they need is you, present, caring, and willing to grow alongside them.”

~ Dani Lebovitz, MS, RDN and Diana Rice, RDN

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