Holiday stress making you crazy? Downsize and manage expectations.

It’s time for my annual post about dealing with holiday stress. It is certainly a theme that recurs every year. It seems to affect everyone, young, old, and in between.

In my current series on downsizing, I realized downsizing is a good way to think about managing holiday expectations and, in turn, reduce stress.

Think about it. When we put too many demands on our time, too many events on our calendar, too many gifts on our shopping list, and more, we become overwhelmed. It’s time to downsize.

How do you downsize expectations?

In the same way we downsize our stuff, or downsize our writing, we eliminate the unessential and keep what is most important.

Think about your holiday expectations…

How many decorations do you need to feel festive? Which ones bring the most delight? Pick those. Donate the rest.

How many holiday parties and programs do you need to attend (or host)? Which ones are the most meaningful? Attend those. Skip the rest.

How many people are on your gift list? Do they all need to be? Are there alternatives to exchanging gifts that would be meaningful and less stressful?

What are some ways to simplify your gift giving?

• Draw names within a group you exchange with.

• Pick one gift to give to multiple people and purchase the same for all.

• Buy gift certificates to shows, restaurants, or favorite boutiques.

What other simplified gift-giving ideas can you think of?

Are there ways to downsize your holiday cooking? Which foods or treats do you want to make yourself, and which ones can you buy from a bakery, caterer, or store? Prepare in bulk when practical and freeze for later. Save homemade for what brings you the most joy. Purchase what you enjoy but feels like work. Eliminate what feels like extra.

Put downsizing into action with these ideas:

Start small. In what area are your holiday expectations the most overwhelming? How can you downsize them and bring calm to your chaos?

I have simplified my holiday cooking tremendously. Simpler menus. No cookie baking marathons.

I have simplified my holiday gift giving. Our adult family members draw one name. No more getting something for everyone. The grandkids all get age-appropriate gifts in the same categories. This year it’s a book, a toy, and art supplies. It leads to much lower decision fatigue.

Decorating inside hasn’t changed much, but I allow myself a couple of weeks to accomplish it. Outside, we have significantly fewer decorations – no climbing up on ladders to string lights on gutters anymore. Just door garlands and some lighted deer in the front yard. Festive and uplifting, not overwhelming.

COVID allowed us to downsize a major contributor to our holiday stress, albeit fun, which was hosting a huge holiday party for friends. After 37 years, it was time to let it go. All good things must end. We still have the memories and the friendships.

What will you do to downsize your expectations?

Need more ideas? See these previous posts about managing holiday stress and overwhelm:

• Are holiday expectations making you crazy? Bring calm to your calendar.        

• Are you feeling overwhelmed? Ask for and accept help to overcome.        

• Are you feeling overwhelmed? Break tasks down and build boundaries.        

• Are you feeling overwhelmed? Create and communicate clear expectations.        

• Are you overwhelmed?        

• Say no like a 3-year-old.        

• Holiday Traditions: To Keep, Skip, or Break        

• The Secret to Holiday Happiness Is        

• A Very Different Holiday        

• Making a List and Checking it Twice        

• The Best Laid Plans        

“When you release expectations, you are free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be.” ~ Mandy Hale

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